Losing Me

LosingMe

Matthew 10:38-39 (MSG) “If you don’t go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you don’t deserve me. If your first concern is to look after yourself, you’ll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you’ll find both yourself and me.”

“Gotta lose my life to find it, I have to lose my life in You – Jesus!” (Bethel Worship)

Woke up with music on my mind today and this line from a worship set I have been listening to. Gotta lose my life to find it, I have to lose my life in You – Jesus! The joy of surrender. Conflicting terms to the world but celebratory for the Christian who gives their life to Jesus. There is joy in surrender because giving up my life allows me to fully embrace who I was created to be. The enemy wants us to think that such an attitude followed by intentional action becomes a regulated life of rules and constant sacrifice. The truth is that in sacrificing what sin made me, I can fully embrace who I was created and called to be by God through Jesus Christ.

“If you don’t go all the way with me, through thick and thin, you don’t deserve me.” Seems harsh yet I can attest the humble offering of my broken life has never been less than totally rewarding. I am not who I used to be. Some days, I am comfortable in that and then others it is not so gratifying but always beneficial. To compare our natural life to the supernatural existence offered by the Lord is like a fairytale to some – they want the happily ever after but cannot believe it is possible. I have come to a point where my life is worth nothing outside of Christ. I have come to realize that every good thing in me and around me is straight from Heaven. God is a good father. He has given me a good life. He has stuck with me through thick and thin so the least I can do is oblige Him the same. I don’t want to be like the ten lepers who were healed but only returned to give Jesus glory and gratitude. I wonder if that is a sad statistic hidden in God’s Word. How many come to the Lord yet never go the distance? They take hold of the blessing but never enter a relationship with the One True Blessing. The One who gives and gives and gives to His Children. The One who gave His Life for me and you.

John 12:24-26 (MSG) “Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever, real and eternal. If any of you wants to serve me, then follow me. Then you’ll be where I am, ready to serve at a moment’s notice. The Father will honor and reward anyone who serves me.”

To make it practical – there is the illustration of a grain of wheat or a mustard seed of faith. It must be planted in the ground to reach its full potential for in its present form it remains just that – potential. Until a seed changes its form, there is no transformation into purpose. You have a purpose. God created a plan with a future and hope just for you. In order to have the full potential and purpose for our life, it must be surrendered by faith to the Creator. He takes what is in us and makes way for fulfillment. We have to make a choice. Natural life or supernatural living – one is limited and the other limitless. One stretches the span of our birthday to the date on our death certificate. Those who want eternal life choose to give up this life in order to have forever. But God doesn’t impose punishment or suffering on those who choose surrender but fulfillment and full satisfaction beginning now. He brings Heaven to connect with us on earth when it is our decision to receive Him now AND forevermore.

Jesus set forth an example. A clear-cut pathway of service called unconditional love and amazing grace. The two will always require a forfeiture of our rights in every capacity. It means forgiving the unforgivable. Giving even when it hurts. Continually laying down our life to serve the most unworthy of characters knowing we once walked in their shoes. Are you surprised? I didn’t mention all the do’s and don’ts of religious doctrine. I didn’t highlight the “seven deadly” sins. I am convinced that those who truly fall in love with Jesus Christ will avoid sin. They will do their best to not sin as to not hurt their beloved. I do not want to hurt my husband, children, family or friends. I have no ill will toward them. I would not take advantage of them knowingly. I try not to take anyone for granted. So why would I ever wish to knowingly harm the Lover of my Soul who laid down their life just to have me with them forever? I tried to be a good Christian. It didn’t work out so well. When I finally crawled to the Cross empty-handed and begged the Lord to take me – everything changed. It continues to change daily. I throw in the towel and pick it back up again. Not for people – I just can’t leave Him. I can’t ignore Him. I can’t live, breathe or move without Jesus Christ. He is my everything!

Philippians 2:16-18 (MSG) Do everything readily and cheerfully—no bickering, no second-guessing allowed! Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society. Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God. Carry the light-giving Message into the night so I’ll have good cause to be proud of you on the day that Christ returns. You’ll be living proof that I didn’t go to all this work for nothing.

I want to be living proof that Jesus Christ is alive and well. I cannot do that on my own. I am a mess just like everyone else. I can pull it together some days with a good night’s sleep and some Maybelline but the truth is that inside I struggle to keep my heart and mind set on Christ. To continue to live by faith and not by sight. To put others before myself especially those who don’t do the same. To do everything readily and cheerfully is a challenge. To be a breath of fresh air to the squalid and polluted society that is going to hell in a handbasket is tough. Some days it is easier to say, “Have it your way! If that’s what you want, go right ahead!” But the Lord reminds me of my worth and that others are just as valuable – every one of us cost Christ every drop of His Blood and breath of His Life to save us. I am living proof that Christ heals, delivers, saves and redeems whether I act like it or not. The only thing I have to be proud of is Jesus.

Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG) “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Can we be real for a minute? Completely honest? I get tired. I feel worn out most of the time. I am burned out, fed up and over religion. I just want Jesus – thank you very much! He says, “Come to me.” When I take the time to rest in Him, I find that all the frustration begins to melt away. He encourages me to keep going. He tells me it will be worth it. He prods me to plant more faith. To give more. To learn from unforced rhythms of grace. Grace is easily offered when our full expectation is in Jesus. Disappoint comes when we set our eyes and expectations on lesser things. Human beings are imperfect. They will ALWAYS find a way to let you down. Transitioning all of our life into the Hands of God for His Workmanship to make it into a masterpiece is never easy. We are taught to live each day to the fullest. Go for broke. You only live once. Our faith cannot be based on the ideology and misconceptions of the desperation of this world but fully invested and completely convinced that God is exactly who He says that He is and will do EXACTLY what He promises.

There came a time in my life about halfway through when there were just too many broken pieces to make anything of worth. A normal life became impossible and a good life unpalatable. I was handed fear, anxiety, worry, doubt and anxiety. I carried that basket for a long time. I was broken. Oh, I was a believer and Christian. I had my heart and mind totally set on Jesus Christ but couldn’t see a future rising up from my devastated life. How could this be the life God promised for me? Was it really going to end like that? I remember the night that I slid all my broken pieces across the table into His Nail-Scarred Hands. I can’t fix me Lord. I am lost in my life and struggling. He took it. All of it. Nothing has been the same sense. It seems like just when I think “I” have it all together again. I am reminded by Jesus – “Hey, are you looking for this?” I find my being in Christ. Losing every part of me including all my self-confidence, self-worth and self-esteem taught me where to find life. I had to lose control. Life became inconvenient. I had to struggle my way out of my present form to embrace the changes coming. I had to lose my life to find it. I had to lose my life in Him. His Name is Jesus.

Ephesians 5:1-2 (MSG) Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.

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One Comment Add yours

  1. I love what you said about loosing yourself in God in order to find yourself. God bless you for this.

    Like

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