Healthy Hesitation

Healthy Hesitation

Psalm 5:1-3 (NLT)

O Lord, hear me as I pray; pay attention to my groaning. Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for I pray to no one but you. Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.

 

Anticipation. Expectation. These are killer qualities in life. I do not like to wait but these two things produce waiting in my life on a regular basis. My family has a gene of hyperactivity that runs through it making us a jumpy bunch. Moving here and there. Trying this and that. Not really thinking sometimes just rushing in and doing. I am desperately trying to overcome this trait and learn to wait on the Lord in ALL things. Faith is not about testing God. It is the quality in us that believes Him explicitly and in every detail. It is not a test of strength or courage but an act of willingness that the Lord desires. It is total trust that God is taking care of every detail in our life. The only difference between waiting on the Lord and hesitation is the motivation of our heart. It is that moment of indecision when we must decide what we really want in this life. Do we want Jesus? Or do we want what the world has to offer? This choice is reflected even what we may think are the most insignificant details of life.

It’s funny that when it comes to our son’s health, I have trusted God completely from the beginning. No matter what quietly confident that God is in control of his body, mind and spirit. Did I have moments of fear and frustration? Of course it is not every day that your child appears to be on the verge of death or connected to more tubes and wires than you can count. But not once from diagnosis to remission with multiple relapses in between did I ever wonder if God had forsaken us. I share this because I think it is ironic that I struggle more with things in my day to day life than in that moment of life and death. When we have no other option but the Lord it is easy to find our place in His Presence. The world has nothing for us. But what if we learned to live there in every minor detail of our life as well. It would be life changing. It would be miraculous. It would be a prosperous existence beyond our imagination.

I have a decision weighing heavy on my heart. If I told you about it, you would probably brush it off as a life decision not a God decision. But I believe that the Lord wants all my requests to go through Him. I can do a lot of things. But He can do them all better than I ever could. I have received two confirmations from the Lord but still do not feel the “go” I need to know that He is finished in His Preparation of this thing that He is doing. But in my moment of hesitation, I had to pray. I needed to know if this is healthy hesitation or fearful restraint. It is hard to tell sometimes as we attempt to walk by faith and not by sight.

Psalm 37:5-7 (NLT)

Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun. Be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.

In parenting, I have learned to focus on the majors and not worry about the minors. I pick and choose my battles more carefully with these younger two than the older ones. My eldest daughter often tells her younger sisters to thank her for breaking us in. We are reminded from the earliest age “not to sweat the small stuff” when in reality God cares about it all. “Commit EVEYRTHING you do to the Lord.” What if before we did a single thing in life, we prayed about it first? I mean right down to buying a cup of coffee on the way to work. What if we ran it all by Jesus before we did it? If we turned every decision that we made over to the Lord and listened for His Voice – our lives would change for the better. Such a commitment to prayer would be a powerhouse for our life. If we decided to live in His Presence and wait for His Peace in every situation – our life would be renewed moment by moment and we wouldn’t have to wait for a miracle. Why? We would live in the supernatural.

Daniel 9:22-23 (NLT)

He explained to me, “Daniel, I have come here to give you insight and understanding. The moment you began praying, a command was given. And now I am here to tell you what it was, for you are very precious to God. Listen carefully so that you can understand the meaning of your vision.

 

When we commit our life to Jesus Christ moment by moment, praying every day and many times a day, we put our life in His Presence waiting for His Will and Way to be perfected. I love this verse in Daniel. Daniel was praying. The angel of the Lord came to Him with insight. Oh what insight! “The moment you began praying, a command was given.” Our prayers don’t “make” anything happen. They do not change the heart and mind of God in any way. Our prayers align us with the Will and Way of God opening the door to His Kingdom by faith. We think that we pray to God so He will do what we say. Please God don’t take my advice for my life. But when we decide to have faith that God’s Way is better and His Plan perfect, we begin to live in confident hope which is a place of healthy hesitation as we wait for the Lord. But if we do not know the Word of God and are unfamiliar with His Ways, we live in fear that what God is doing may not meet our expectation or satisfy our heart so we hold back parts of our life to do with as we may.

We are precious to God. It is in the revelation of God’s Profound Love for us that we come willingly and obediently into His Presence laying our life on the altar as to say, “Here Lord it’s yours please do something with it.” He does. Over and over again, it’s called His Glory. We live in His Glory when we commit every single detail our life to His Will and Way.

Romans 4:20-24 (NLT)

Abraham never wavered in believing God’s promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger, and in this he brought glory to God. He was fully convinced that God is able to do whatever he promises. And because of Abraham’s faith, God counted him as righteous. And when God counted him as righteous, it wasn’t just for Abraham’s benefit. It was recorded for our benefit, too, assuring us that God will also count us as righteous if we believe in him, the one who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead.

 

Looking back over my life, I can see the times that I waited on the Lord until I thought I could wait no more and then tried to help Him out as it became “apparent” He somehow needed my assistance. (Written with a smirk) Those are the times I jumped the gun and took off when the Lord was telling me to wait on Him. To trust Him. To believe Him. I am in good company. Abraham believed God’s Promise. He never wavered. He, too, tried to help God in the process. Remember Hagar and Ishmael. We can be fully convinced in God’s Power and still mess up the process every now again. So don’t beat yourself up too bad, just put the bat down and stop beating yourself up. As long as there is breath in our body, God is not finished with us yet. We must become committed to waiting on the Lord motivated by our heart and not our head. His Promises are always better than our plan and natural ability to make a better life.

Hebrews 10:20-23 (NLT)

By his death, Jesus opened a new and life-giving way through the curtain into the Most Holy Place. And since we have a great High Priest who rules over God’s house, let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water. Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.

Our youngest child has the privilege of two parents and four older siblings. There are times she embraces her position in our family and other times she feels the need to remind her brothers and sisters that they are “not the boss of her”. I was the oldest in birth order so I cannot relate to her position. But I can relate to the pressure she feels with everyone voicing their opinion and expectation over your life – it’s called adulthood. Your spouse has expectations. Your children have needs. Your boss gives directives. Just to get home there are signs telling you where to go, lights telling you when to move, and other people to watch out for because it is clear that are not watching out for you. So many considerations along the way that when it is time to make a decision – you just want some peace. After stopping and going from traffic light to light along the way, who hasn’t rushed through a yellow light just because you are tired of stopping and starting? Ready to get somewhere you bend the rules and accelerate through unaware of anything other than a need for some relief and desire to get somewhere.

These are the times of greatest danger to the believer. When the pressures of life cause us to make radical and random decisions without turning them over to Christ. We have the privilege of living in constant communion with Jesus Christ. We are privy to His Wisdom as we are given His Mind. We can have His Way in all things if we so choose. The only thing we must do is “hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm for God can be trusted to keep His Promise.”

2 Corinthians 1:18-20 (NLT)

As surely as God is faithful, our word to you does not waver between “Yes” and “No.” For Jesus Christ, the Son of God, does not waver between “Yes” and “No.” He is the one whom Silas, Timothy, and I preached to you, and as God’s ultimate “Yes,” he always does what he says. For all of God’s promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding “Yes!” And through Christ, our “Amen” (which means “Yes”) ascends to God for his glory.

 

If the Word of God is true, every single promise that God has for me is already an “amen” so the desire that He places in my heart has merit whatever it may be. God is faithful. I must be faithful, too. His Word says, “Yes” or “No” never maybe. We determine the course of our life by choosing life and death in each moment. I do believe that the God of the Universe cares about every decision that we make. I have three grown children who live independently. I want the very best for them in all things even though we live apart. How much more God feels this way about you and me? Considering the fact that He gave His Only Son Jesus Christ to secure our place in His Presence, it seems to be that everything about our life would be a “big deal” to Him. With such knowledge, I am challenged today to evaluate my waiting from a godly perspective. Am I waiting on the Lord? Or am I hesitating in fear? God knows the desires of my heart. He made the Way for me to have them. If I position myself at the feet of Jesus, I will never be disappointed again even in the most minute detail of my life. That is where I will wait and see what He has for me today and every day as I commit everything to Jesus! Lord, steady and secure me in Your Presence as I wait for You. When I hear you Lord, make me faithful and obedient to Your Word to do Your Will and have Your Way!

James 1:5-7 (NLT)

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.

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