Job 7:17-18 (NLT)
“What are people that you should make so much of us that you should think of us so often? For you examine us every morning and test us every moment.”
There are many people who I have looked to for advice in the Bible as I have walked the journey of trials and testing over the last few years. For some reason, this year has been exceptionally telling probably because for the first time in that time our son is not undergoing chemotherapy. For the last couple of weeks, it has been as thought the Lord has taken me down memory lane slowly strolling along as not to miss a single detail of the ordeal through which we have traversed. Some days it is difficult to realize just how close we came to death and yet he is still here thanks to the Goodness of our God. Other days it is easy to celebrate his victory especially when another milestone is reached or I find him digging in my refrigerator. Last night riding home from the gym, one of my favorite songs through it all came on the radio. Chills crept up my arms until every hair on the back of my neck stood to attention, whispering the words and fighting back tears I recall with sweet affirmation that “not for a moment will you forsake me” only I cannot sing “will you” but “did you”. It is the moments like these I am humbled to think of my God who despite all my faults and failures still thinks of me so sweetly. He cares for me completely. He examines me each morning applying His Mercy where I need it. He tests me each moment. Every moment of every day has divine potential and Kingdom Purpose. Every single one without exception contains the opportunity to see the Glory of God if we choose not to miss it. Even those times we think one day we will want to forget are gladly welcomed in knowing that God’s Love for me is so vast and secure. I must live every moment looking for the Lord in each one.
Psalm 39:4-5 (NLT)
“Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered—how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath.”
My entire lifetime is just a moment to you. Each of us is but a breath. To fully comprehend this statement gives us revelation as the urgency of God. He sees each moment of our life knowing the outcome before it is lived. His Purpose is for me to know Him. He wants me to love Him wholeheartedly enough to trust Him stepping into righteousness before it is too late. In Divine Desperation, God takes the moments that I have relentlessly working through them to reveal His Love to me. Life changes when we see its limitations. When the reality that we cannot stop death from approaching, so must learn to overcome it before it gets here will change how we live. At least, this is how it happened for me. The fight waged against cancer has changed my life forever. Do not feel sorry for us because that is not how we feel. I am empowered by the discovery that there really is more to life than this and that God wants me to live it with Him. My time on this earth is brief as is the life of each of my children. I must use my time wisely to make a good investment in forever. Lord, thank you for reminding me of that today so that I will make faith count and hope a priority in each moment.
Psalm 139:15-18 (NLT)
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!
The first time I ever read this verse I was blown away to discover that the Lord was so concerned with my life. A difficult childhood filled with struggle culminated in a blended family that would discover God’s Grace and Mercy yet personally I count not rest still struggling to survive. I needed to know the Love of God firsthand, up close and personally. The kind of love displayed in a story written by His Hand for His Glory so that I would know that His Love for me is not only corporate but more importantly intimate and one-on-one. It was discovered the moment that I realized no one and nothing could satisfy my heart, quiet my soul and heal my heart like Jesus. It took all this just to understand that every moment of my life is infused with God’s Love for my immediate discovery and use. If I will only look to Him, I can see that His Thoughts of me are so precious that He leaves not a single detail to chance but fills each one with His Goodness, Grace and Love. (Romans 8:28) I know that even when life is too much for me to handle that He has it all under control. His Plan so complex that it knows the end from the beginning and works best in my weakness to show me the way.
Daniel 9:22-23 (NLT)
He explained to me, “Daniel, I have come here to give you insight and understanding. The moment you began praying, a command was given. And now I am here to tell you what it was, for you are very precious to God. Listen carefully so that you can understand the meaning of your vision.
I am precious to God. No really, I am His Beloved. He cherishes me more than any other person could ever see my value and worth. “The moment you began praying, a command was given.” God was just waiting for me to make the connection. Think about the first time you cried out to Jesus in desperation. It wasn’t pretty but pathetic. You needed Him to survive. It was a cry of devastation in a vain attempt to save your life – you lost it altogether. At least, this is the case for most of us. We had to come to the end of ourselves to seek God for real. Why? Why did the Lord tell Daniel that the command was given? You are precious to God. Sometimes it takes complete devastation of life as we know it to discover just how wide, long, high and deep His Love really is when it comes to you. (Ephesians 3:18) Now I know when I pray that He hears me, moves on my behalf, answers me and even sits silently to keep me still and in place. But more importantly than what the Lord tells me in that moment is the revelation that He loves me and I am precious to the Lord. It is such a place that insight and understanding flow freely in the Knowledge of God. His Wisdom helps us to see His Goodness in each moment even those that are difficult to get through.
Psalm 84:10-12 (NLT)
A single day in your courts is better than a thousand anywhere else! I would rather be a gatekeeper in the house of my God than live the good life in the homes of the wicked. For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right. O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, what joy for those who trust in you.
In this moment of recollection, I am reminded today to live for the moment. A single day lived in the Presence of God is better than a thousand anywhere else. Do you mean that today? You cannot crave what you have never known. In that moment when all I could do was trust God, life became simple. Then I came back to “regular” life wandering out of His Constant Abiding Presence and now am desperate to find my way back. “Normal” life is not as rewarding as a dedicated life. Sometimes we must be desperate to survive. This is why in our weakness that we discover God’s Strength. When pride falls to humility, we come to Him and He is able to fill us up again. This new life is a work in progress and each moment carries great potential to lead us back to His Presence so we can have His Goodness in our life.
Matthew 6:26-30 (NLT)
Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
One final thought on this journey down memory lane and probably the most profound to me today. I have spent much of my life worrying. I shudder to think what it will be like when the Lord shows me all the time wasted on stress when I meet Him. My weak faith would not allow me to trust Him in every single moment. However, at this point in my life, after all that we have been through I am compelled to change gears and seek new direction. I want a simple life. How can I call this life simple with so many burdens? When I could not do anything to save our son, the Lord stepped in to show me His Great Love. I would never have experienced such complete and divine intervention that would completely change my mind about the Lord had we not gone through this past season. What I have discovered is the potential in a mustard seed of faith sown in one second of my life? Now my desires are changing, I am trying to walk the way that I used to, do things like we did and work to regain a normal life – but it does not satisfy me like it did before. Everything has changed and now I want the simplicity of knowing God is with me in each moment. His Goodness is ready to overflow and overtake my life so I feel myself pushing against those things that keep it from moving. As I learn to trust Him more, my prayer is to live in His Presence. I am now discovering it was His Plan all along to make me release my mediocre life to take hold of a supernatural existence in the Knowledge of His Great Love. The Lord wants to take care of me in each moment. I am learning to surrender them before it becomes urgent and He must wrestle them from my doubt and fear to do what I am asking Him to do. My life of contradiction is finally being settled. Each fine hair is split that keeps me from knowing Him more. I want those moments back once sacrificed to worry, fear, regret to be surrendered to the Lord so He can fill them with the Love, Trust and Faith that He has for me so my hope will be confident in Him every single second of every day.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NLT)
Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.
Well enough about me, let’s talk about you. God has made everything beautiful in its own time. We will soon pass the three-year mark of our son’s battle, how long has the war lasted waged in your life? I know that it seems like forever. I can feel your exhaustion today. I want to encourage you from the other side. Today our son is cancer-free. I celebrate that even though the enemy wants me to worry that it will one day come back claiming his life. I refuse and hope you will do the same. The Truth is that God loves you. He has written out each minute of your life with divine purpose filling it with His Goodness. His Unfailing Love is right behind you just waiting to overtake you. God is desperate for you because although this awful times seems like it will last forever. I will not but God’s Care and Concern for His Children will and so you have eternity in your heart. Today is but a moment. You can use it to discover His Great Love for you. Are you broken today? The Lord is ready to heal you. Call on Him, and immediately a command is released in Heaven on your behalf. Do not look at tomorrow, it will be here soon enough. Do not look back because such a person is not fit for the Kingdom of God. Live out this moment. Look for His Love in this second. Do not let the enemy rob you of the blessing that came with His Mercy for today. We cannot see the scope of God’s Work from beginning to end that is why He leaves us blessings in each moment even if it is the solace that we are never alone. Take a deep breath. Live for the moment. You will see God!
And every step every breath you are there
Every tear every cry every prayer
In my heart at my worst
When my world falls down
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Even in the dark
Even when it’s hard
You will never leave me after all…
Not for a moment will you forsake me.
(Meredith Andrews – Not For a Moment)